Chapters 37-48 For Hearing People Only

Chapter 37 Is It OK to use the terms “deaf-mute” and “deaf and dumb”?

To be honest, this chapter has me quite nervous as to what I should say in referring to a person who cannot hear!

I knew using the term mute was not acceptable. It “refers to someone who cannot talk”. I knew before this class that just because a person could not hear, does not always mean they cannot talk. I myself did not and do not use that term. I knew that many could talk; yet I have learned that many do not as they feel uncomfortable doing so since it does not sound “correct”.

The question in the book asked, “why isn’t “deaf and dumb” an acceptable term?” seems to be an extremely stupid question. Being deaf does not in any way mean a person is dumb…I don’t even like using that word in any context or to refer to anyone.

I try to stay up on what are “politically correct” terms for any situation. I was quite shocked to read that Gallaudet University was “Columbia Institution for the Deaf, Dumb, and Blind” then called “National Deaf-Mute College”, and then finally the name it has today. I figured that since Gallaudet and his family did so much to create this learning place that they would of not used “Dumb” and “Mute” in the naming.

I can’t say that I have ever heard anyone refer to a deaf person as “deaf and mute”. I can also understand why it is so insulting to a deaf person. “Deaf – mute suggests that a deaf person is doomed to a life of silence, without speech, without hope.” The term “deaf and dumb” “conjures a pitiful, pathetic, dull-witted image, with a hint of subnormal intelligence. To think that in this day and age, any reasonably intelligent person refer to a deaf person with either of these terms is mind-boggling!

As I continued to read the different terms, acceptable and unacceptable, it was shocking to see that many the “Real-life example” were written and or said in my lifetime, the past 20 years. That reporters, parents, neighbor, and politicians said these insulting terms publicly. The one that stands out the most to me was the story told by Congressman Kennedy in 1990, as he told of a friend of his father being a “deaf-mute”. Only to be corrected in a letter written to him. Way to go Kim!

I would of loved to have been present when the two ladies stood up to the women in the restaurant who said, “look at the dummies, talking with their hands!” When the deaf women stood up and said “What dummies???”, what a perfect way of handling the rudeness.

I usually use the term Hearing-Impaired, but maybe I won’t in the future. I realize it is not “really equivalent to “deaf”. That “deaf and hard-of-hearing people are two distinct groups with different aims, although they do share a common need for accessible communication”. I just felt that referring to a deaf person as “deaf” or “deaf person” sounded so cold. Yet in the chapter, that is what many would like to be called and call themselves. To them it is “a simple, non-judgmental term.” 90% in the opinion poll prefer this term. The one I used, “hearing-impaired”, only 1% used that one. Think I need to use the term that they find more comfortable.

Chapter 38 Can ”Deaf” be used as a noun or only an adjective?

In this chapter I was relieved to know I was saying the term correctly and not insulting any deaf person. It appears that the term “deaf” is and can be used in different ways depending on whether you are deaf and referring to others who are deaf or if you are hearing and referring to someone who is deaf.

It seems that if you are deaf you can refer to others who are deaf as just “deaf” seeing the example in the book, “A group of Deafs traveled to Hawaii”. If a hearing person said this, it would be considered insulting. I, myself, find this insulting and would never consider saying it. The term “Deafie” was mentioned as a term of affection, I don’t see that as to affectionate and would never use it.

I am glad to see that the preferred terms are “deaf persons”, “deaf people”, and “deaf community”. The fact that “they prefer to be seen as people first” is understandable.

In the end it was said that there are no hard and fast rules about the usages. It again seems to come back to “how strongly they identify with the cultural-Deaf community” as to what is said. The final thought is as always, “when in doubt, proceed cautiously”!

Chapter 39 When I use the word “handicapped,” my deaf friend gets angry. Why?

I am beginning to understand being deaf in a different way. I can look at being deaf as a physical disability or an ethnic difference. I guess I looked a being deaf as a form of being handicapped. Handicap does mean “a deficiency especially an anatomical, physiological or mental deficiency that prevents or restricts normal achievement”. Using medical terms “it’s a disability, it’s a disorder, it’s a deficiency, it’s a handicap.” However the majority of deaf people don’t see themselves as handicapped. The only thing they can’t do is hear. Funny that the chapter points out how some people can’t dance, draw, or sing….so are they handicapped – makes you think!!! Deaf people can work, play, dance, draw, and sing and have just a full a life as the hearing.

There are many deaf who fight that they are normal, not handicapped, other than not hearing and don’t want to be looked at as they need to be “fixed”. “Our hardship is more of a communication barrier than a physical disability”.

There are some deaf people who endorse be considered “handicapped” since the world is based on sound and are then “excluded from full participation in a sound-based society”. “They believe that society owe them compensation (benefits) for the hardships they endure”

Finally, we all know that just the term “handicap” can have a negative tone and can bring in pity for someone else. So as in many things learned in this book…it is probably best to stay away from using the term “handicap”. I, myself, try to use the term “impaired” as in “hearing impaired”. I my attempt to not use the term “deaf”, I am learning that that is what I should be using.

Chapter 40 Why do deaf people use the terms “hearing” and “hearings”?

Getting a bit confused as to who is on the inside or outside or the minority or the majority, I am called “hearing” because I am on the outside of the deaf and in the majority. I don’t know if other “hearing” find this insulting or not, I myself don’t. I am hearing so why not call me that. Guess it comes back to calling the deaf people “deaf” which is what they are, and what they want to be called.

The usage of “deaf”, “hearing”, and “they” and what people want to be called does come across as a label. Since I can remember I was taught not to call people things, not to label them, as it is demeaning and can hurt feeling. I guess this is why these chapters are so uncomfortable for me. Chapter 38 was the most uncomfortable as all the labels that were put on someone just because they couldn’t hear. Makes me wonder if there is such a debate as to what to call someone who can’t see other than “blind”???

The last paragraph summed up what was in my mind and answered the question, “aren’t these labels insulting?” “Not necessarily—they reflect a normal human trait of expressing belonging to a group and distinguishing ourselves from those who are different”. Trying to believe that.

Chapter 41 Do all deaf people benefit from hearing aids?

I can answer that without even reading…. NO. I know that it make sound louder…all sound louder. So what ever that sound is good or bad, understandable or not, all it does is make it louder.

What I did learn as is a common theme in the book, it is up to the individual as to if they want to wear a hearing aid…. even if it does or doesn’t make things louder. For some it makes them feel more comfortable and more “aware of what’s going on”.

I was not aware of the fact there were 3 different types of aids available. There is the traditional hearing aid that makes sounds, all sounds, louder. There is a digital aid that can be “programmed to pick up the frequencies of speech, or even whispers. They can “focus” on someone speaking and exclude background noise. It does say that the severely and profoundly deaf do not benefit but the moderately deaf get the most benefit. The final type of aid, and a rather permanent one, is the cochlear implant. For the implant, and hole is drilled in the skull and devises are implanted inside the skull and hooked up to devises outside the skull. This will help get sound to the brain and then allow the person to hear to some degree.

In any choice of an aid, the earlier you can wear it, the better you are, maybe?? This is where a huge problem comes in. If you go with the idea of “early intervention”, that newborns can be fitted…the parents make the decision, creating the problem. Yes, if your child were born “not perfect” you, as the parent, would want to fix it as soon as possible. The problem is in the eye of deaf people, who is to say that being deaf is being “not perfect” and that it needs to be fixed…. at any time?

The aids, of any kind, may or may not help the deaf person. The aids range from hundreds of dollars to thousands of dollars and they may or may not help. The decision to wear an aid is many times what the parent wants and not what the deaf child may or may not want. “No deaf child or adult should ever be forced to wear one. It should be a matter of personal choice”. Many parents of deaf children are trying to make a good decision for their child and help them be “normal” in the hearing world.

To be honest, I don’t know if I wouldn’t try to do the same thing if my child were found to be deaf. I would want to help, to “fix” things and any good parent would. I am now seeing that being deaf doesn’t need to be “fixed”. I can’t eat food with gluten since I have Celiac Disease…I don’t need to be fixed. I just go about what I eat a little differently than others.

So back to the question of the chapter, do all deaf people benefit from hearing aids? In general no, but some can and do. It just needs to be their choice as to if they want to wear one and if they do which one do they wear.

Chapter 42 The best of both worlds – ASL and a cochlear implant???

It would be great if it could be the best of both worlds, but it seems it is not in many cases. It starts with who is making the decision to have the implant. If the deaf person is a child, the FDA approves implants for children without their consent. Many in the deaf community are opposed to the FDA’s decision as their views, “real world concern”, and firsthand experiences of the implants were dismissed. It appears the “hearing oralists, scientists, executives, audiologists and government officials” know what is best for a person who is deaf. If a parent chooses for their deaf infant or child to have the implant, they, basically, are not “allowed” to have the child also learn ASL. It appears that “sign language interferes with the acquisition of speech”. “The doctors make it clear when they counsel parents of prospective implantees: do not sign.” There is the threat that if they continue with signing….the clinic will drop them….no implant.

Okay….whose child it this anyway. The clinic will get the money to perform the surgery and such. Who are they to tell a parent or child…and “by the way you are not allowed to try to communicate in any other way.”

One must keep in mind that most parents who have made the decision to get the implant for their child have mostly “committed themselves to the oral/aural approach” anyway. They themselves have not taken the time to learn to sign and have no intention of doing so at any time. Parents feel they are doing the best…yet they are not the ones who have had no “exposure to spoken or visual language”. Depending on the child’s age, they already have a “language gap” when they get the implant. They are not the ones who will spend “several long months learning to interpret the electronically processed sounds as meaningful speech”. So are they really doing the right thing…for the child?

There are many adult deaf people who “complained bitterly about the oral/aural regimen” they had as a child, yet no one had the same feelings from learning ASL.

The implant companies prey on the parents who want to “fix” or do what is best for the child. The companies have the money for the fancy advertisements and knowledge as to what works. Then you add the fear of teaching the child ASL as well and how it will make things worse cause “we know” and they have the parent right where they want them. I made me sick to read this. I myself would have to talk quite a few implantees to make the decision to drill a hole my child’s head! Then to tell me I can’t teach h/she ASL in the mean time, I don’t think so!

Implants can work and do work. We again come back to the fact that it should be the choice of the deaf person. A child cannot make that decision and the parent shouldn’t either. If as an adult a deaf person wants the implant and has the money, go for it. If it doesn’t help much, you still have ASL to communicate. So can ASL and implants be the best of both worlds? I can and should be, but if being put in a child it won’t be. How sad is that!!!

Chapter 43 Why are deaf people against universal infant hearing screening? Isn’t a good idea to detect hearing loss as soon as possible?

It is a great idea to detect hearing loss as soon as possible. There are devices that can do just that in newborns. We have come a long way from clapping behind a child to see if they turn their head. The testing is not the issue, but what is done afterwards.

The people who give the test are the same people who “have traditionally broken the news to parents that their child is deaf, and who have encouraged them to have low expectations and /or place the child in oral/auditory or mainstream program”, again someone telling what to do with their child. Parents are devastated that their child is deaf and are then “convinced that the road to “normality” must be a strictly oral/auditory one ….or subject the child to an expensive dose of head surgery”. Many parents run out and buy hearing aids, try talking loudly to the child, and other crazy things to “fix” the child.

What they need to do, when the shock wears off, is get in contact with other parents, establish “a parents’ network and making friends in the Deaf community”…and that would be free.

The testing is great and I would have it done on my own child. The problem is the “expects” telling what I need to do and buy. I would want to talk to other parents of deaf children with the implants, parents who learned and use ASL in the home, and anybody else with a deaf child in a hearing house. The Internet is great to get people in touch someone that has something in common with you medically or socially. I think parents just get so scared and it is easier to just do what someone tells you than take things in your own hands.

They didn’t know what was wrong with me when I was 2 and had Celiac Disease. My mom looked and looked in books and came up with Celiac. This was before the Internet. Finally she found a doctor who listened and sent me to the right place. You just have to fight for your child and not take the easy way.

Chapter 44 When deaf people meet deaf parents of a new baby, they always ask if the baby’s deaf or hearing. Why?

The best answer is the fact that the deaf people want to “get a “fix” on the the baby’s cultural identity – to see if the baby is one of them”. I would hope this would not be considered rude, because I would ask and or want to know that answer for myself. Knowing that most deaf parents have hearing children, that only about 10% deaf parents have deaf children, which would be a reasonable question.

The deaf community has pride in their “ethnic identity”. There seems to be a quick bond and empathy with all deaf children.

Some hearing parents feel threatened in the fact that a total stranger has more in common with their child than the parents do. Some feel that the deaf community will take their child from them. There are some parents who welcome the deaf community in their child’s live because of the deafness commonality. They realize that the new relationship will only enrich the life of their child and want the child as well as themselves in the deaf community.

I think this does take a strong family to open their arms to this “extended family”. I can see how this could scare a new parent. That they may not have the ability to always communicate with their child or the child will build a stronger bond with someone in the deaf community. Just writing this scares me that I may not be the one my child turns to a needs the most. I can understand how scared hearing parents could get.

This will have to be an issue the members of the deaf community will have to reassure the hearing parents, to be sensitive to this fear. Surely the deaf community knows it is there. All parents want what is best for their child, hearing or deaf. I seems in this situation everyone involved with the deaf child needs to keep this in mind and not jump to conclusions, make accusations, or decisions with out all the facts. The deaf community feels that being deaf “is something positive, something to be cherished and celebrated”. Not planning a way to “steal” a deaf child from a hearing family.

Chapter 45 Why do most deaf parents raise a hearing child better than hearing parents a deaf child?

Couple things need to be looked at first. One, this statement all depends on individual parents and the child; second, it depends on the environment in the home.

Common sense tell you that a hearing child of deaf parents will not pick up on a good speech pattern and will probably need speech therapy when they start school. The child may be fluent in ASL yet deficient in English since it is not spoken in the house.

I found it interesting that hearing children in small rural communities, where homes are far apart, have very little or no exposure to spoken English, while in a highly populated areas there is a likelihood that they know more spoken English…never would of thought of that fact.

Back to the question, “most deaf parents (90%) are aware of the problem”, that their hearing child is not learning spoken English, and they want to do something about it. The deaf parents seem to be the ones who research, call, and ask questions as to where and what can be done to expose their hearing child to spoken language. Something hearing parents should do with a deaf child.

The deaf parents “ understand the demands of the Hearing world far better than the Hearing world understands their needs as Deaf people”. Deaf parents and people will do anything to make a hearing person understand them…not so much the other way around.

The chapter goes on to state that many hearing children go on into adulthood and have careers working with the deaf as an interpreter, teacher (ASL), social workers, and more. They seem to enjoy working with and helping people as this has been their world their whole life. Most importantly, they maintain a close relationship with the deaf community they have grown up with.

I remember the first time I saw deaf parents with hearing children, at the pizza place. It was pretty amazing to see the kids being bilingual. Talking with each other and then signing with the parents. It was as easy to them as taking a breath. I think that was what I watched most. Just an everyday family eating at a restaurant, only the parents were deaf and the kids weren’t. No difference at all.

Chapter 46 Parents of deaf children have been telling us what they think is best for their children when they really don’t know them. How come?

Every parent thinks they know what is best for their child hearing or deaf. No parent wants to look like they don’t know how to care for their child. They feel they will look stupid. But in reality hearing parents “do not know what effect deafness will have on their children’s life”.

I talked about those parents who make the decision on hearing aids or implants, do their children want this, or is this something that will make it more convenient for the parent? The parents make the decision at to whether or not they learn ASL. They make the decision on what kind of school they will attend.

The bottom line seems to be that hearing parents try to pull the deaf child in to the hearing world the parents’ way when it should be they go into the deaf community with the deaf child.

Hearing parents will have to admit they are lost and need help. They will need to learn to ask and ask and ask for answers. Parents will need to learn ASL to communicate with their child. Parents need to understand that what works in one family, may not work in theirs and try things another way….not to force.

Hearing parents raising a deaf child is not easy, but it can be done. I guess the best thing is to put the child ahead of the parent’s needs and wants and be open for change.

Chapter 47 Do deaf parents breed deaf children?

I read the title and I thought that this is probably a common question asked by many. I myself was not entirely sure of the answer. But to begin reading about how the deaf and other people were treated hundreds of years ago made me pretty angry. It made me wonder if I would be allowed to father children or even allowed to live since I have a disease that is at times genetically passed??

Many years ago, yes, people thought deaf people would have deaf children. It was also thought to stop this “horrible” thing to pass, adults should “be prevented from reproducing more deaf people”. I was shocked to read that Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone as well as son and husband of deaf women, would want to pass “legislation to prohibit deaf people from marrying each other”. Since he was not deaf this did not include him and his wife?? This was not passed, yet because of his ideas, this lead to many American deaf children being sterilized. The Nazis did even more sterilizing “deaf Jewish and Christian schoolchildren, teenagers, and young adults to ensure that they would never be able to breed “defectives”.” And lastly, the reading of how some 1,600 were murdered by carbon monoxide poisoning due to the fact they were ill, handicapped… “defective” and “undesirable”…. just writing this makes me mad. Again I ask, with my celiac disease, would I have been allowed to live, or my grandparents with diabetes????

Thank goodness we have come a long way from that thinking. Interestingly “and estimated 90% of all deaf people have hearing parents. And 90% of all deaf parents have hearing children”. That should answer the question of the chapter. In genetics, it has been learned, that most of the “deaf genes” are carried then transmitted by the hearing parents. One or both of the parents “carries” the gene and when a child is born, that gene may or may not produce a deaf child. Even more interesting is the fact that the gene shows up randomly. A hearing couple, in which one parent has the gene, can have 3 children and only one is deaf.

Some children who are born deaf may be so due to the mother being exposed to rubella. Some children who are “early – deafened” may have had a bacterial or viral infection, high fever, or an accident, nothing to do with “deaf genes”.

To think that having any child with any kind of problem should never have children or be physically changed so they can’t is so horrible. Yes, there are some exceptions, but think that because someone is deaf and should not have children is just crazy. What about the people who abuse their children and continue to have children, those are the ones who should never have more children or physically changed so they can’t!!!

The sad story of the woman who took the love of her life to meet her deaf parents was scary. The fact that he would not marry her due to the fact that her parents were deaf and he didn’t want “deaf children” is probably still true today. I wonder myself if my children will get celiac disease and wonder if this will affect me finding a wife???

My favorite sentence in the book, so far, is “The quality of parenting, not the health of the auditory nerves, is what’s important”. I so agree with that.

Chapter 48 Is hearing loss in my family heredity or that my grandmother fell down the steps?

I found myself laughing at this question. I was thinking it was made up, but then to read that someone really asked this question because this is what she grew up believing was pretty crazy. It bothers me that the grandmother may have lived all those years thinking that she was the reason she had children with different levels deafness. Have to blame someone I guess.

Nice to remember, that in most cases, if a pregnant mother does fall, the baby is almost never injured, especially that the fall could not injure the inner ear of the baby.

We need to come back to the genetics and whether or not either of the parents carries the gene. The last paragraph states, if you are concerned as to if you have the gene, and could you transfer it, go to a genetic counselor. There are tests that can be done to determine and give you the answers. I have heard of women have the test done to see if they have the gene for breast cancer. Thank goodness for our modern day science.